EMOTIONS - AVOIDANCE AND NAVIGATION

We have witnessed the transformative effect of being brave enough to pay closer attention to endings and in doing so create brighter beginnings.

The second of the four pillars we offer you as leaders to equip yourself to navigate the endings in your organisation is Emotions.

When we experience an ending, much of how we feel is about loss. And the losses we feel can be many and varied, from loss of opportunity to loss of routine or location to a sense of loss of identity and many more. If we are experiencing many forms of loss, we would therefore be experiencing many forms of grief. We could also potentially be avoiding that grief. Avoidance of facing into a loss can be a very helpful and healthy coping mechanism, as Bréne Brown calls it, “selectively numbing.” In the grief curve, which has been adapted to organisations and referred to as the change curve, Kubler Ross identified denial as a typical first stage in the grief cycle.

Denial and avoidance can sometimes be framed as negative, when they are survival behaviours that allow us to still function and be present. As a leader this can help you manage intense or potentially overwhelming feelings until you have the capacity to recognise and process what you are experiencing.

Denial can give us time to come to a place of safety where we are not too exposed and can process how we are feeling. On the other hand, if we stay in denial, and emotionally closed off from the ending, it limits our capacity to truly move forward, and bring all of energy into being present to today. So, what can help you as a leader to work with the emotions bound up in an ending when you are ready?

Here are two handrails, for when the time is right. One for naming emotions and one exploring the different kinds of loss that you might be experiencing. We hope you find them useful.

And a reminder as you do this work that when we work with individuals and organisations we do so in a structured and supported way. Occasionally, even hearing about this work, can surface some strong feelings and we encourage you to seek support if that is the case for you. If you need immediate support please do speak to someone, or in the UK head to Mind.org.uk, Counselling-Directory.org.uk, or Samaritans.org.